


Cheesy on my Peeny

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Crack, Food Kink, Food Sex, Force-Feeding, Other, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:29:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13741914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A friendly wager goes south when Clyde decides to fuck with Craig's food... quite literally.I'm so sorry for writing this... but not sorry enough to not post it





	Cheesy on my Peeny

**Author's Note:**

> This should go without saying, but:
> 
> 1\. Be careful when sticking your genitals in food, or when sticking food in your genital regions  
> 2\. Don't do this without consent. That's messed up
> 
> Also don't take this seriously. This was created as a joke. All characterizations and writing went out the window for the sake of humor

Clyde emerged from the bathroom, a look of disgust, defeat, and disappointment on his face. Never again would he try to drink an entire gallon of chocolate milk in less than an hour. His stomach made a gnarly noise as he doubled over in mild pain. What started out as a friendly wager was now going to be his utter downfall. 

"You know the terms of the bet," said Craig. "You have to do what I say for the rest of the night. Now get in the kitchen and make me a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm getting hungry."

Clyde, still bent over, let out a large belch, unable to cover his mouth in time. He felt like absolute shit, but he had to do what he had to do. If he was anything, he was a man of his word. He stood up and stumbled his way into the kitchen. It was only a sandwich after all. As Clyde started gathering the ingredients, Craig called out from the living room. "Oh, and make it extra cheesy. I want to see the cheese string out when I pull it apart.

_Then make it yourself, princess..._ He mumbled as he spread the butter on bread. The pan was over medium heat, perfect for cooking this nice and slowly. The first piece of bread went into the pan butter side down, followed by two slices of cheddar and one slice of provolone, topped with the other piece of buttered bread.

These friendly bets between Craig and Clyde had become somewhat of a cornerstone of their relationship. Usually the loser had to do some pretty ridiculous things. One time, Craig ended up mooning a crowd in a glass elevator. However, this felt pretty tame. Just a sandwich? There had to be a catch somewhere.

At last the sandwich was finished. Clyde turned it out onto a plate and examined it. The exterior was a perfect golden brown, with the molten cheese inside flowing like the ichor of the gods. In all ways, it was a perfect sandwich. He was sure Craig was going to love it. However, he wasn't just going to let Craig have the satisfaction this time. Oh, he was going to get him good on this one. He put on a frustrated look and walked out to the living room where Craig was watching tv and awaiting his food.

"Uhh, sorry to keep you waiting dude, but like... I accidentally burned your sandwich. Do you mind waiting a few more minutes while I make another one?"

Craig was disappointed. "Just make it quick. I'm getting hungry over here."

Clyde rubbed his hands together as he turned away, a grin on his face. "Oh don't worry. I'll be sure to _finish_ as quickly as possible."

As soon as he walked into the kitchen, he put a little water into a cup and poured that into the hot pan. The sound of the cold water hitting the pan would sound like another sandwich is being cooked. This was going to be the perfect distraction for the next part of Clyde's devious scam.

Without a moment to think about it, Clyde unfastened his pants, pulled out his penis, and firmly shoved it between the two pieces of bread. The cheese was still hot, but not enough to cause more than just a bit of discomfort. He bit his lip to hold back the pain as he slowly thrusted himself in and out of the sandwich.

The sandwich was kind of greasy, as Clyde quickly discovered. This was probably for the best... or the worst... as it made the motions a lot smoother. He shouldn't have been, but he was really starting to enjoy this. Something about the warmth of the food was almost humanlike in nature... almost.

Just as Clyde was approaching climax, he heard footsteps. Oh shit, Craig was getting up. He pulled his dick out of the sandwich, quickly jerked it a few more times before finishing in between the two slices of bread. After putting the grilled cheese back onto a plate, he rushed to pull his pants back up right before Craig stepped into the room. 

"Here you go. One grilled cheese, hot and ready for your consumption."

"Oh, I'm not hungry anymore. But you look like you could use a nice meal, especially after throwing up all that milk earlier."

"I'm good, really."

Craig smirked. "I don't think you understand. You're going to eat that sandwich, even if I have to feed it to you myself."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Craig picked that sandwich up from the plate and shoved the corner of it into Clyde's mouth. Clyde regretfully chewed at the bread and cheese as Craig gave him a glare.

"Usually when somebody wants to fuck with your food," scowled Craig, forcing the food deeper into Clyde's mouth, "that doesn't mean that they're actually having intercourse with it. What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"It wath justh a phrank, bruh." Clyde's cheeks were like a chipmunk. He was reluctant to swallow. Between the bites, he could feel a trickle of semen stream down the corner of his mouth. The taste was overshadowed by the sharp cheddar.

As Craig forced the last bites into Clyde's mouth, he looked satisfied. Revenge was a dish best served cold, or in this case, lukewarm and penetrated.

"I'm sorry for messing around with your food," said Clyde, his lip quivering. "It was only a joke."

"Clyde, if I wanted your cum in my mouth, I would've sucked your dick. Just once think before you act."

"It's here for you when you want it. But it might be just a little cheesy right about now."

"If I didn't love you so much, I'd probably slap you for that."

"That's fair." Clyde shrugged it off.

"Now go clean yourself off. You smell like a bad diner."

"You're so gouda to me. I should treat you cheddar."

"How do you live with yourself?" Craig facepalmed.

"What can I say? It's not easy being cheesy."


End file.
